How to let go

Moving on or letting go emotionally after a divorce or separation is usually a very challenging and difficult thing to do. As much as we want to do it, so that we can feel free and be open to attracting and loving someone else, we often stay stuck.

Maybe one of the reasons this happens is because we try to stop loving our previous partner… But I don’t think it’s about trying to stop loving them. In fact, it’s quite the contrary. By acknowledging the love we had, honoring it and then letting go of our desire for them, we can authentically move on. This is when we can be truly open to  loving again.

If we move on with resentment, anger, hatred, despise etc. it may feel easy to let go, but a part of us is still stuck back with our ex… when this happens we become like their prisoner.

Love is not exclusive… we can love everyone and anyone, so letting go does not mean that we need to stop loving someone. It is healthy to stop desiring or wanting them, but it’s wonderful to be able to honor our love for them without having to do anything about it, apart from just accept ‘what is’ and continue to love, despite all circumstances.

This may sound easier said than done, however, from my experience, it’s much more painful to hold on to ‘sad’ stories and ‘bad’ feelings than it is to just simply love and let go. Once you’ve been able to do this, you will realize just how much easier it is to let go than to hold on. It takes a lot of energy to wish things were different, hope for the other person to change, resent or despise them and/or hold on to old stories to justify where you’re at now.

When we move on with love and no longer hold any desire, fantasy or hope for an ex-partner, we can give fully to our next partner, which is honoring and respectful to both ourselves and them.

‘Romantic Love’ is desiring and wanting someone… ‘Real Love’ is wanting for their well-being.

‘Loving’ does not mean ‘Having’… love is not a feeling that comes and goes… love is a realization of a deep connection and a oneness that we have with another human being and  honoring it.

So love freely, let go as often as necessary, embrace the moment and welcome tomorrow.